While this is usually humiliating, I frequently remind couple’s of God’s graciousness and his heart for them. For many men struggling with sexual addiction, a crisis of truth may take the form of having one’s transgressions exposed. Fortunately he also loves us enough, that in our unwillingness, he allows crisis to bring us face-to-face with our wounds and our transgressions. God patiently respects our unwillingness to acknowledge wounds, for a while. When we acknowledge our woundedness we are taking responsibility for our hearts, and that honors God.Īcknowledgement moves us closer to truly surrendering these wounds to God so He may begin to heal them. Acknowledging a wounded heart is not “rehashing,” “blaming,” or skirting “responsibility” for our own actions/transgressions. Willingly and sometimes happily, through acting-out, we turned our backs on our own hearts as they bleed from within. This is why our addictions have kept us in bondage for so many years. But whether we acknowledge it or not, we still bleed from within. To us, this can feel better than the dread of having our hearts split open, spilling into our own consciousness or for others to see. Sadly, we trade God’s healing touch for the certainty of the mundanely dulled and bruised heart. We are not only afraid of hurting again but we dread uncovering unknown fear. Some wounds leave us so deeply injured that even looking at them can be terrifying. Men often ask me the purpose of “rehashing” the past, “blaming” one’s parents, or they will give me a monologue on “choices” and “personal responsibility.” Their questions are fair and deserve answers, but to miss the issues behind them is to miss the heart of the man that asks. While it is often exciting to watch men reconnect with their hearts and risk vulnerability by sharing painful experiences, I encountered quite a bit of resistance from the group. While recently at an Every Man’s Battle conference, the group I was facilitating had been processing the relationship between personal wounds and sexually acting-out.